A Decade old Blazer Yogi

 

                                                                

Do doctors really have that handwriting when they studied medicine ? One can only wonder. Who knows, after going through grueling studies on drugs , diabetes , depression and death, a young prospective doctor-to-be might be so aghast with the things they now know about the human body and they can't afford to unlearn it. They look at someone's skin and their brain shouts melanin , melatonin , water melon . Enough about doctors, as I embark into a decade of my living existence to celebrate a personal anniversary - I wanted to do a backward timelapse on the effects my job has had on me. 

Today, by the Lord's Blessing , I step into the 10th year in the IT industry and I am in my 3rd company already. Back when I started, I was in a constant pissing contest against my peers - thanks to my young naive brain that wasn't ready to read the people or the circumstances that brought them.  Today, I know better - but not everything. I have had the blessing of making mistakes, wrong judgements, wrong calls , improper interpretations and all the nonsense that was painful at that time but rewarding now, as a lesson from the past always is reason to feel wise in the present.    

Here are some of the things that the industry had taught me, or may be , I cared enough to take those lessons for myself - as who am I kidding, this industry doesn't do things out of the goodness of its heart.  It simply is the way it is. The ones that can deal with it, survive.

It is ok to Fail 

Normalize getting things wrong. Years and years of educational complex and common ignorance in parents is that it is a sin to fail. This destroys a child's capacity to impartially, treat a failure just as a round 2 and not an exit. As the child grows , this evolves into a cancerous trait that halts their basic risk taking ability. Sometimes, when we get it wrong  owning it and learning from it is the only right thing to do. If you point fingers or rain excuses instead of accepting you misfired , it's not going to help. Trying to not repeat the same mistake is all that matters. Take risks, shoot and see where it lands .  

Taking nothing personal  

Well, it is a pyramid structure. There is always someone above us and some below us - each one tries to make a living by ensuring those below don't pull the rug under them with a mistake and those above don't let you take the hit directly. If someone talks to you in a certain way, with time and proper emotional intelligence, one learns to understand the core context and intent of a conversation and not just go tone deaf because from whom it is coming.  Learning to discern people and their words and pivoting them towards your self growth is as much important as toying software in those laptops. If indeed your ethics radar detects a personal vendetta - read further.

Handling Tricky people 

No one is cut from the same cloth. Our journeys are incredibly unique but similar. How we personally deal with a situation and the people involved in it really is what brings that difference among us.  Burning bridges is not always a complete no-no - you can do that but only when you clearly see that as a last resort. If you feel, there is still some potential in a situation to handle it by putting the foot down on your emotions and ego, do it . It will be tough , but the more times you swallow that lump and go through it, you will become level headed and impossible to break even by the most vicious people or situations.  Be a class act. Communicate and let it run its course.  Slowly press the gas on how you respond. It's called a professional environment for a reason.

Understanding What matters to you 

We are all in this circus for a basic fundamental reason - use our brains to make it rain  cash . But, a few years down the lane, you must do a rain check to see how are you growing overall and not just limit your goals to salary or skills. You should use this job's unique experiences to sculpt your emotional quotient, work on your personal maturity ,  find what 'satisfies' you as a human being . You may be successful on the job, people might value you, you might get a fat check but if you still feel a void - you are having blind spots that you need to immediately attend to.  People might give feedback on your work and make comments on how much you earn - but remember PEOPLE ALWAYS TALK ABOUT THE OBVIOUS. It's on you to do a retro on yourself, to see where you are going - explore those unseen portions of your mental structure.  Invest on your personality as much as you do on your actual work.

Estimate your Weaknesses 

This is something that comes with age and after repeat fights between your persisting self and zen self. With time and a certain level of self introspection, you should be able to see which battles to take and which ones to accept as they are. Not every skill or situation you can ace, as much as you want to stroke your ego with a never-say-never attitude. You should know it with clarity - make a clear rundown on how far you KNOW you can handle a situation and how best you can communicate to people . Don't put yourself in a spot where people will just assume you will deliver but you end up limping in the middle. It is ok to not be a jack of all trades, try to be decent in  aspects that matter but don't put unnecessary pressure on yourself trying to hype your reputation. 

Snake Detector Brain

Like my handwriting quip in the beginning, some people enter the industry with basic bad behavior. They have a proclivity to trade gossips, demotivate, ill educate people to throw others under the bus, find every opportunity to pull down someone, not extend a clap when something good happens to someone . There are always going to be people like that , with varying magnitudes of such unpleasant features. The trick is to not avoid them, but find a way to work with them. You may not control them, or those gullible tongues that repeat whatever nonsense these snakes feed to them, but you can certainly manage by being true to yourself and make sure YOU let others know the good things you have been doing. Be your own Advocate. After a while , all that trash talk loses power and has no option but to surrender to the Truth and you would have had a comfortable upper hand. Don't retaliate fire with fire . Don't wrestle with pigs even if they tempt you. Albeit, sometimes you indeed have to enter the race , find out what their weapons are, what their intent is , who are they in bed with - just to understand the situation.  Once you have had a grip , turn down every single opportunity that makes you lose it and deal it with educated poise.

Appreciating Personal Health

Most of us lose shape, develop sedentary coping mechanisms, life style induced problems and such , as we continue to meet the demands of our work. Some of us are wise to be pig headed to not give in to our weaknesses, but most of us, lose a certain aspect of personal health and then fight hard to restore it . Obesity, Stress, Depression , Vanity Struggles ( inflated lifestyle choices to "be" with people) etc . It's ok if you realize at some point that you have slipped - you can always maneuver towards the ideal trajectory , if you work on yourself. 

Communication

The basic survival skill required to simply be in the game. If you don't make efforts to communicate properly , understand when others communicate and foresee a communication about to happen after a few years on the job, you have another thing coming at you.  Anyone can speak like a loose cannon. It takes intelligence, grace and deep situational awareness to communicate the right things at the right place , at right time and around the right people. Fancy jargons or not, if people can see the sincerity in your work and ethics, plain simple talk does the trick.  We sometimes find leaders who amazingly communicate , without actual saying it  and you still get the message when you work with them. Emulate that. Never go on record if you are not 100% sure about it 10 steps from the present and 10 minutes later . Guide people to the intent cogently. 

Empathy 

You learn to cultivate empathy and not take people for their face value or the role they play at work. A boss barking at your head means, they just got slapped by their boss. People are people.  Understand the humanness in your colleagues,  see how best you can help them or be helped by them by effectively making an astute study of their personality. Be kind . Don't let your emotions determine your manners. Learn to appreciate when someone is having their 'Moment'. Yours will come. Not everyone gets the trophy at the same time. Wish well for those around you and it all comes back. You have no idea how many times somebody might have had your back but they never tell you. Your manager or junior is not just who they are at work. That is one alive human being with as much flesh, blood ,bones and emotions as much as you are and never let your humanity desert you. 

You Matter ! - You can always correct a situation

There is always a solution. Unfortunately, some moments push us to the extent of taking our own life, when we can't meet a deadline, or we let down someone because of our mistake , or we simply realize the chinks in our armor. A well-wisher once told me "Sometimes being too close to a problem can also play against us" and it made a lot of sense to me. Remember, to ask "What's the worst that can happen?" . Answer that question, try to clean up your act but never give up and surrender to a dangerous pattern of thinking that, "it's gone, i am done, this is the end of me'. Nothing is worth it. Nobody is worth it. You are what's worth. You are not just the money you make to your family or the results you deliver to your client. You have a family with you and they need you as much as you need them, never ever lose that thought.

I can go on. But, I stop here for a healthy pause . 

Be thankful, if you have something worthwhile to do with your time and for the very aspect of being alive. The IT Industry does have many dimensions and you trying to be true to yourself is all that matters. Do what you have got to do.  Help each other, pray you don't become the prey and don't forget the whole intent of all this experience - It's just a day at work. Life goes on !