So, I am aspiring to lead a team of about 100 and be in direct interaction with clients , you know the drill right ! I want to go to the ultimate peaks of success in my profession, make lot of money . She said , with a glint of childlike enthusiasm , looking at the man in front of her, whose face suddenly became serious. It was a heartfelt conversation in the balcony , between a prospective bride & groom , as they were baiting each other's honest thoughts to see if they saw a journey together . Even as she was telling this, the smart matured lady became a teenage princess in her heart , as she started imagining her kids with the features of this man in front of her, whether they will be tall like him or fair like her. She was startled in her thoughts when the guy proclaimed . "Err .. I drink...". Her teenage fantasy of 2 minutes exploded as she heard her heartbeats matching the rhythm of the Express Train that sped by. She usually held her confidence in high esteem. She believed she was a strong lady, of fortitude, adept with people management skills that she learnt the hard way from her profession, she had made good money , but this sudden confession from of a daring man, suddenly got her into a nightmare even as the sun was sipping soda and looking at them , wondering where this conversation was going. She imagined , being slapped in the nights when her husband entered the house late in the night, she imagined a cigarette in his hand and the other hand grabbing her hair as he was abusing her for no reason. She winced from the imaginary pain when her feet stepped over a glass bangle, which was broken when she tried to resist him near the door . Even as a thick wet sweat descended her forehead onto her lips , she was brought back to reality , when the clueless man in front of her was looking deep into her lost eyes , what this woman was conjuring within the confines of her mind , just like all of us are looking at our women , what the hell just happened . He gently nudged her as his lips broke into a doubtful smile, as she recovered and looked at him - "you haven't said a word in 2 minutes. I wasn't done - I was about to tell you, but I only do it in the presence of higher management folks out of social respect, to be one with the gang , to save my job.
Otherwise, I don't like the taste of any of these things I have to do, just to surv...." . Before he completed the sentence she gave him a hug which was a paragon of ladylike intimacy and womanly grace. Her hug was a simultaneous demonstration of decency and passion , which only a woman of character could pull off. She had hugged him in such a way, he realized she see's him as a friend , that she has mustered courage to show her newfound trust in him. Her hug also demonstrated the invisible deep intimacy a husband , a man alone can experience with his wife. Now , He got into a daydream , wondering what an epitome of wonder she was, how she managed to maintain a decency in her physical gesture yet convey deep emotions without uttering a single word. She cleared the air, casually slapping him in his chin with 4 fingers , saying - "dude, you almost shook me. I was this close to opening myself to you, but when you said you drink, I began to question my own sense of confidence, my family's status, my maturity in handling tough situations, whether I will find another man like you as a husband. Not that I can't handle men with questionable choices, I have survived bad bosses, judgmental male colleagues . It's just if there was a man, who I can be myself with, a man who fills my voids and who makes space where I have an excess, it should be my husband. I can't fight battles such as these, everyday , but I can battle with my man for hours to make a conscious , quality decision about our career, our future etc . But when you followed up with the next few words, you caught what I almost threw - you caught US." The moment she said "US", the man, who was fighting his male urges to be a gentleman, brought her close and hugged her shamelessly tight and patted her on the back, like how he does with his male best friends - no shame, no decency , just raw expression of an unguarded male intimacy. The woman, taking a sip of the moment, gracefully unwinded from his hands , breathed a gush of air, and said, "Come, let's confirm our acceptance".
Notice, the circus that just happened in the minds of these two ? As much as India is grappling to accommodate a cliched notion of freedom to do anything, like the West, on top of the various restricting vines of cultural choices it has opted, in the name of parental advice, religion , peer pressure , the youth , or perhaps the population of the new India, is as diverse as it can get. While an instance as narrated above exists in families even today, there are also cases when the guy and the lady meet in a glitzy pub on a beach road as they make important decisions on how long either of them will be working, when to time their vacations, where to train their kids, even as they took oscillating sips of vodka and beer. The amount of courage they summoned to open up about their personal journey together, inviting their respective selves onto the table as they laughed over the alcoholic liquids in front of them is another motion picture by itself. Chances are, this kind of a couple also went back to their homes, dressed in their traditional wear in front of their families and when the time came when their parents ask them to have a moment to sort out their personal preferences, the same balcony scene above will just have one dialogue in this movie - "let's meet again in the disco , this Saturday to discuss about our honeymoon ". They then stood holding hands with each other , uttering nothing, tasting the silence , relishing their last moments of being a single man and woman, just to convince their families they took time to speak a lot of serious things, only to come out , with awkward grins on their faces, to evoke the fathers to utter the uber cliched words - "Then we can plan the marriage in the next possible auspicious window of time" , even as these two rowdies exchanged deep sarcastic grins with a fleeting flying kiss.
The same mixture of "Barley, water , hops & yeast" , more commonly known as Beer , bridges some families, even as it explodes some families from within. But why all this hype ? Why is it that, alcohol, is so frowned upon. What's the deal anyway ? After all it's made from plant products, it does not come from imperious sources such as the drugs, why is it that there are so many versions in defaming it as "the worst decision you can take for yourself" ? Is it because, it serves no health benefits, apart from bulging beer bellies and gloated faces, inflated sense of ego and social vanity , a temporal sense of "living a cinematic life" amidst their friends, in a vainglorious attempt to appear cool, free willed and confident ? What harm does it do anyway , or perhaps, what gain does it bestow on us anyway ? Is this a good decision to drink or is it a good decision when you can handle how much you drink ? Can a person, who only drinks out of survival strategy be deemed a noble martyr , or can a person who doesn't drink at all be hailed as a hero ? Can a person who makes all the right choices,from taking care of their families, going for a job, being a good citizen to their country, be judged a villain just because he/she drinks to escape from their mental agony and silent battles they chose to fight and not fight ? Even today,the concept of drinking is one of those topics that are debated with no proper conclusion in India . Homosexuality , has gained a closure, it was silently judged and detested for it's sheer difference from the "standard" way of living, but today after the voices of many souls , India has gained a clarity on the concept of being gay/lesbian. It is lawfully decriminalized and it is upto the choice of the individual and their families to sort it out. But drinking - is still an underground affair. Families hide details if their candidates drink , whether casually or frequently. It is still yet to be branded as a 'yay' or 'nay'. Why do all the major religions also advocate the concept of "to drink is forbidden" ? Is it because, on spiritual grounds we lose sight of ourselves, instead of turning inwards in search of the pure "Athma", instead of serving the people in the name of the "good lord" , instead of thinking about the "all merciful, all powerful" at all times , we disappear into a fake dimension where no one and nothing matters ? This is a simple straight forward question with an answer that needs a strong reasoning .
Incidents of domestic violence , abuse of power & money , misuse of privileges, massacre of moral character , the first sins an adolescent does out of peer pressure, the everyday habit people with responsibilities commit to , incidents where fathers and sons bond with each other, scenes where the Boss and his employee attain closure - all of these are linked to the dubious or perhaps questionable act of drinking . If you ask me, what's your take on this - I have a clear verdict on this in my mind and speech . To me , the act of drinking is a "harmless cancer" - that humans are harvesting in their lives. It is harmless, not dangerous as long as one can handle the tentacles of the elevated sense of thoughts arising out of alcohol, but nevertheless it is cancer. Why ? Because, it hides from within and comes out when it is potent to wreak havoc and cause mayhem . Any person, who makes a choice to drink can't always drink decently within limits. The urge or the temptation to push themselves at least once, to disturb the equilibrium at least once silently grows in them but largely remains unnoticed and dormant , and it is only a matter of time before it chooses to erupt as a lava of unimaginable strength. We don't need to raise a moral barricade, with so much efforts, to bulwark against our urges when we realize one simple truth . Drinking was never a natural choice for mankind to sustain on earth. Mankind, learnt to cover themselves with animal skin, dresses, mankind learned to groom the hair growing on their bodies, mankind learned to eat whatever they had their disposal , from animal meat to fruits and vegatables, mankind learned to improve their lives by invention of the wheel, the bulb, fast forward to today's levitating trains and self driving cars. But there was never a need perse to drink to sustain themselves. It is a manmade non-performing cancerous trait, that came out of no fruitful need, an artificial deviation that stokes our senses into misreading emotions of pleasure or pain , and hence serves no purpose . When someone offers a drink to me, I don't act all dramatic and cocoon myself into my vault, neither do I pour them a glass in return for their offer to pay for my drink. I am a Man, who strongly believes , every act needs a purpose . A destination. A path. Drinking does not lead me anywhere. It doesn't solve my emotional problems, it doesn't pay my bills, it doesn't grant me promotions at work, it doesn't win me long lasting true friends, as opposed to the so called friends who only choose to "live in the moment" , it doesn't allow me to taste reality , what is real pleasure, what is real pain , it serves me no purpose. And that's how I see the ALCOHOL concept . This clarity has given me a sense of security and peace, to be in society , to be confident about my choices to not explain my choices, because at the end of the day , who really cares ? It is my life, my destiny towards my chosen destination , I don't judge someone when they drink ,either casually or frequently, whether out of pressure or for the heck of it. When , the same balcony scene happens in my life, if my lady confesses that she takes to alcohol once in a while, I will gently smile and wish her all the best in her search of finding a prospective groom .
Disclaimer - There might be many good examples of men/women who keep their drinking impulses under check and still love their family and be a quality individual , but unfortunately very few master this skill and the bad effects of booze continue to be rampant all over India , owing to easy access of booze for everyone . This is written to individuals to be conscious in their decisions !
Take no offense , if you enjoy the spirits !
