Respecting Religious Choices - How to not be a Religious Racist

The society is plush with different variants in people already. A shocking truth to be told , these days people choose anything they want in the name of independence and they see adherence to set of values as mere submission that allegedly makes them look like dumb sheep. Hatred and inability to grasp the concept of religion and Faith is one Brain fever that is gripping so many vulnerable people out there. These days , religion and the concept of surrender to the Almighty is being advocated in ways that is not helping the people who need proper guidance in living a self sufficient life on their own terms. India, being a country with a smorgasbord of religions , races , castes and religious beliefs , grapples with the challenge of balancing a mixed crowd of people . There are a set of people who follow religion and its dictum out of faith & love, some out of force of family , some out of confusion and finally some with no belief in anything associated with God or religion.

Where do I stand ...

Me, I believe in God and religion , but I have acquired a taste for it . I was introduced into the habit of worship & rituals from a young age and I observed a lot of this in my day to day life. But no one thrust on me by force or fanaticism . I was just instructed to follow a code of conduct , that my ancestors , my parents , relatives and some members of public followed . I had a natural affinity for this and the kid in me didn't want to question what I was being expected to do. An important point to note here is , I never felt like questioning it . As kids, we tend to rebel , ask and answer back but this thought never crossed me when it came to rituals or worship. As I stepped into teenage, adolescence and subsequently the millennial I am now , this has become a part of me , unlike many who lose faith their own faith system. This is my chosen path and no force of nature can redesign my wiring towards spirituality. But that's me. What about others ? Read on .

The challenge we all go through..

                             

There is immense peer pressure , societal pressure and media vomit that is being dumped everywhere , that people lose their own perception , strictly speaking , on their self ethics and beliefs . The ones that lose belief and choose to move to the opposite lane are the ones, that didn't have a natural acceptance to their prescribed values. No one is born a believer / non believer. Every religion , in its haste to keep itself alive adopts different avenues to propagate its values and direction for leading life. The problem arises when this system is not being properly inculcated. Just like potty training , table manners , dress sense is being taught to babies and young kids , religion and faith should be properly inserted in a child's mental psyche. Whether the child accepts and receives it is the Child's own karma and destiny . When this is being imposed out of force and desperation , we are knocking the child's ability to receive and act on instructions , out of the galaxy. In the event of a non-compliance by your child,it does hurt , but it is to be accepted the way the child is . Such forcefully imposed kids grow into rebellious adults and non-believers , more popularly known as practical thinkers or Atheists. Their inability to place faith on the unseen along with all the bookish human created knowledge takes charge pushing their ability to believe in the super power to the back. Let me remind one point here - neither it is right to think , that belief in god & religion guarantees a free lunch nor is right to say , the believers are people who misinterpret coincidences as an act of Divine order. In both sides , people eat , sleep , love , suffer and die the same way and all that differs is what signals they pick and recognize during this temporal stay on earth.

The need of the hour --> " The message "

                           

Well , if you follow rules on the road and rules while eating and toileting , you should be smart enough to stick on to your own self validated faiths. My point here is , don't give in to the choices and expectations others have made for themselves . If you believed in some god / faith system / super power , embrace it and stay on track . No body is going to be benefited by you switching lanes. In the end , we are all going to die , no matter what. But at-least , let us have the sense of having lived a life of self discipline and self built life , un-corrupted by anti social elements that are looming out there. In an evolving country such as ours, it is of paramount importance to respect one another in their choices of religion and faith and to mock them is outright unacceptable. This extends to food choices such as meat consumers and vegetarians as well. It's wisest for you to come to terms with the simple fact , that your choice is your own choice and all the pride and reverence is of no consequence to others. It starts and ends with you. If you respect and understand this simple logic , you will respect others , you will stop judging others , you will stop looking down on others , you will not shamelessly try to convert others to your choice or act pompously that you are superior to them . Respect one another. There are many who are willing to divide us . Let us not give in . Let us stand together in our own colors and reserve as much Love and Respect for each other as possible. Then who on earth needs these "Reservations" . 

Jai Hind

A Woman's War From The Balcony Of A Man

The third whistle of the cooker went off , as the smell of steamed potato drew her 3yr old son into the kitchen who gave her a squeeze of love good enough to make her forget if she added salt in the sambar or not . It's moments like these , when so many women in the country lose control of their own dreams and give in to the unconquerable , insatiable demands of parental love. A few blocks from here , a bird on the fly gets a fierce eye contact from a lady by the window , who was wiping the sweat of her eyebrows after serving all the in-laws of her newly married husband. The sight of her eyes was so fierce , that the bird had a mild mid air jump like it hit a hanging speed breaker. It made an effort to fly closer to the window to understand more why this woman was giving it the stares even as the woman was desperately hoping her life had taken flight had she not settled down . Welcome to the Modern Day Woman's War of Family vs Career. 

Truth be told , no one would want to be welcomed here , as the war is constantly stoked by family expectations on a helpless , once upon a time focused woman. The dreamy idea of getting married to a well settled man , good by the looks and good by the wallet , affects most women . The exact moment when she loses her balance and gives in to the inside desires of starting a family somewhere seeps in , much to the dismay of the unsuspecting princess. Unfortunately , the emotional darts she gets, when a 3 yr old son looks at you with eyes full of unadulterated love or the feeling of having served the elders in the husband's family will never put her in the direction she wanted to steer her life . Things happened in such pace she didn't realize she just set a domino of disappointments in motion when she decided to sacrifice her own ambitions in the wake of proving that she is the ideal Indian woman. 

As a man, it's moments like these when I realize , being me has its privileges, which no woman will have unless she does something that hurts a lot of people and almost destroys her own nest. The luxury of taking career related decisions in terms of working hours, travel opportunities and elevated roles and responsibilities still is invisibly and dubiously linked with a woman's personal family status and the gentlemen have fewer check boxes to validate. It's apples and oranges since we can't weigh the responsibilities of a man and woman as its too contextual . But , after seeing the case of a few women who I have got to know personally,my eyes did see a void this department. 

Be it the case of a 27 year old woman who combats the demands of raising her own child who can't be trusted with the people who share her house, as they might hold a passive animosity in her if she took a personal career decision , or the case of a manager who has to quit a happening career because her mother in law wants her by her side and she wants her daughter-in-law to be a mother-in-law herself as her daughters grew up , the pressure a woman goes through when it comes to the waves of family and career crashing on her is extreme . Sometimes, it goes to such an extent that the idea of a family loses its real meaning as she stares at her career fading away right in front of her eyes even though she is fully capable and has the grit and gravel to rise to the top rungs of the ladder. 

I get to see this as I am driving in the other lane , being a man , with different set of speed breakers and red stops  . But there are many times , I have hoped a female driver stays on course with me and gives me a run for the money but so many have to take diversions and park themselves for no reason of theirs . I am writing to all of you out there , who have parked your glorious career , or those of you who are staring out the window or those of you who are losing their ambitious drives due to the love of their kids - we men need you around . Every Industry needs a proper gender balance and every one of you deserve a chance in this ride . You just can't sign off so soon , however compelling the situation is. I am entreating you , ride along. Do something that makes you come alive . Being a mother , a young newly married lady or a matured woman with daughters should not make you pause or stop the music of your career. Do anything that still makes you relevant .  

Don't take care of your loved ones so much that at sometimes you ask yourself "Is this all worth" . Rather, switch between your priorities and nurture your own soul's calling even as you become the web of the family. You deserve a chance , just like we all do.

Written by a self respecting man who respects women.