The Happiness Project

 

So I was walking along a nice water body trying to surpass the guilt of having had 2 sweets after my lunch . I cursed my undisciplined way of reaching out to short term ways to make my physical body happy. I began walking with more furiousness such that I almost started dashing onto slow walkers in front of me . I was so disappointed in myself that I was not able to last even a few days trying to not include sweets in my diet. It is bad for me, but damn they taste good and even damn, they settle in the body for good. See here's the thing about the human mind. For some time we suffer because we "don't know" a detail. After a while, when we know a thing or two, we continue to end up ignoring the valuable information we received and still continue to suffer. For eg, when I was in a far off place, I opted for quick a breakfast and bought 12 packets of a chocolate smoothie that was promoted as a breakfast replacement with a host of different vitamins and nutrients. It is my habit that I look up on the details of my food stuff out of curiosity and a childish satisfaction that the more I read about the nutrition profile, the more of it will be absorbed in my body as I consume it.  Don't ask me , It's one of my weird traits. So, when I looked up on the product after having it for a few days , the internet , the stupid internet , calls out that the product adds loads of sugar and artificial sources of vitamins, which are synthetic , which only adds pounds and doesn't tend to aid the body the way it claimed. No wonder the product tasted so good and by the time I learnt this information, I had acquired a taste for it and didn't have the heart to donate it to others as one packet cost 3 USD. I went on to use all the packets with the exception of 1 or 2 which I shared with a buddy who also seemed to dig it. Instances such as these happen from time to time and it got me thinking back in the retrospective walk where I was on a self imposed guilt cardio . What is that really makes me happy ? A eureka moment just dawned on me making me analyze the notion of staying happy and desiccate from a pragmatic unemotional angle. 

It is ok , at first to just experience the happiness out of the most trivial of life's temptations. You know, a cheat snack, watching a romantic movie after your parents slept when you were just hitting adolescence , standing for a longer shower when there is water scarcity etc . Random stuff. But there must come a time in each one of our lives when we should ruminate on this source of happiness , its actual impact and evaluate if it's worth the time and effort we invest in it. Take a moment now, think of something that makes you happy. It can be anything . Mandatory caffeine, sweets after dinner, binge watching, excessive internet time, window shopping ,  sleeping after sun came up etc. 

Now offer "this thing/habit/object" that makes you happy,  it to the following questions :

• How often do you make yourself happy in this way?
• How long does this make you happy, how long does it last.
• Do you compare how happy it makes you, by looking at others who pursue the same kind of happiness?
• How often in a day , you consciously crave for this sort of a thing to make you happy ?
• How disturbed are you, if at one of these attempts , you don't get to experience this source of happiness and how long does this disappointment last ?
• Have you ever tried to stay away from this source of happiness to see if you are addicted to it?
• How long have you lasted without practicing it - how much of it you have under your control ?
• How much time do you waste / invest in trying to make yourself happy in this activity/habit.
• What has been the negative impact on you, as you have kept yourself "happy" with this habit?
• Have you been able to store the happiness from this "thing" and comfort yourself in times of trouble ?
• Have you tried sharing this mode of happiness with those around you ?
• Have you at any point of time, felt it became more of a habit than actually make you happy like it did the first time ?

Ask yourself these razor edged questions and let the pain you get from the answers affect you. LET IT HIT YOU. Sometimes, we never notice something until we are well past the point of reversing the damage and we have to put an excess of our energy to go back and undo the piled up damage. This is the most painful part. Trying to not feel happy about something that you are so accustomed to. This very exercise of undoing , re-orienting your mind to not experience a certain emotion that was it's default settings and retrain it, make it forget is so exhausting. But after a while, when there is consistent effort, you notice it's effects tend to wither away.  With great regret we realize that the momentary high's that seemingly made us feel so happy , intoxicated at those moments , didn't really have the lasting effect it should have had. 

Now you can question me - Isn't the human mind itself meant to forget things , over time - be it pain or pleasure . True, no one can truly remain happy for a long time unless they are truly spiritual and are done with the worldly existence. That is a deep subject, but that's the undeniable truth. Atheists might argue, I can remain happy by being kind to my fellow beings , being a good person sans religion and not even think about God. Any further comments on this will be a digression , but I can only say , nothing that comes with a shelf life is permanent. Be it objects or people - if your source is not the actual source, it will not be in-force for long. Moving on..

If we learn, as we age to derive happiness out of our respective "sources of joy", in moderation, we tend to remain happy on a more durable period. We will be in control of what makes us happy, and not vice versa. We consciously do something that makes us happy and also control how it affects us and how long.  If you ask me, my vice is food. I am a foodie at heart - when I have my lunch , a food that  I enjoy, I enquire what's for dinner and if it happens to be something I like, I become happy in advance even as I was currently in a delightful mien. This is toxic. We should not make an effort to be happy. Happiness should not come with terms and conditions, riders and clauses. It should be a natural state of mind. An effortless way of life. An unconscious default setting. That is how we must evolve . 

I leave it at that. Now spend a moment or two and allow the content of this post to simmer in your mind and let it cook in your consciousness . May your answers guide you in making better decisions and save you from patterns that don't serve you any more. Let this be a good awakening for you. May you learn to maintain yourself in a state of mind that is pleasant and in control of your intellect. 

The excitement doesn't last - let's not be in a hurry , so that we don't worry later !